Anonymous asked:
it's because you're a slutty little candy man with poor circulation. try getting a heat lamp?
hornetstabber answered:
i am fucking cackling like a dumbass thank you this is so funny i love you. slutty little candy man is on my resume now
This deserves 1000s of notes
Dudes (and that means all'ay'all), if you want to see an endless parade of bubble butt closeups, do a search for leggings on Amazon.
This song just cries out to be a Xena fanvid, but I lack the ability. So I’m sending it out as a suggestion. ilu Xena fandom.
From my hysterical rant this morning: Systemic inequality in the land of the free is like someone asking you if you want sourdough or whole wheat on your shit sandwich, and then getting mad when you complain that it’s a shit sandwich because you chose.
Apparently, the only way a man can feel perfect happiness and pure contentment is when he orgasms. Fuck staring into his infant’s eyes or holding them while they sleep. According to Joss Whedon, anyway.
Happy funny syphillis day!
I finally figured out how to put it: “It’s a lot harder to take you seriously/scary when you go off the rails with sexist stereotype bullshit.”
Y'know what actually rankles me the most about that trainwreck of a final season?
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That the initiative facility still existed, and was left littered with non-human corpses. Since they went to the effort of casting “generic pentagon man”, and scripting the line : “and the site will be filled in with concrete”. Wanker.
in re fictional media - in case you missed it when it was broadcast decades ago, I’ll put some spoiler space
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For the final season of Buffy The Vampire Slayer where it completely went off the rails…
Y'know how I would handle the revelation of a giant underground collection of Ubervamps?
She’s got their fuckin’ number.
“Hey, so, we’ve got this massive underground nest of supervamps and I’m thinkin’ we need some heavy equipment. They’re trapped behind a bottleneck, and they still burn up in the sun. I’m thinking build a little cement containment area around it, surround the exit point with sun-tracking mirrors. Weld a lift spot on this mystic doorway, hook it up to a crane, add one of those light-amplifying skylight tubes, we can give ‘em sunshine all day every day. Throw in powerful enough UV lights, we should have this cleared up in like a week”
I’m re-watching Buffy, and I’ve gotten to the last season. There’s a LOT of people being bled for evil rituals. And I know I’m not really getting into the spirit of the threat to our heroes, and I know there are storytelling requirements, can’t happen too fast, etc. But, jesus christ! You’ve got ‘em spread-eagled. The femoral arteries are RIGHT THERE. Cut those and all the blood will fall out, whoosh. Or the fucking jugular, GOD!
